Like so many single people today, I sometimes get disappointed and discouraged about the dating/singles scene. It isn't that I HAVE to have a member of the opposite sex in my life, mind you, it would just be nice. Family and friends are wonderful and necessary, but it ISN'T the same in a lot of ways. With that being said, when were the rules changed? It seems that in our speed/electronic age of dating (i.e. dating sites, IM's,texting, emails, etc.) that the basics for a caring relationship seem to be missing. Whatever happened to meeting, getting to know each other and building from there if a connection/chemistry is felt? It seems things go so quickly and this makes it so much harder to get to know someone. Sometimes I feel that I am asking for the impossible, that no one wants "the real thing." I hope I am wrong. Are there any people who still feel that it takes time to know someone? Are there any men left who want the real thing and not just friends with benefits (I hate that term!)? I sometimes feel that while I was "out of the dating game" and involved with someone, the rules were changed and I never received a copy. Do things happen so quickly now because people have more access to singles (it's almost as if things don't work with this one, I can go back and meet someone else)? Is this really a good thing or a bad thing? I had always believed that building a good relationship was like building a fine relationship, you need to start with a firm foundation or things would crumble. Is this still the case anywhere? Like most, I stay very busy and am not looking to complete myself or fill up some empty time, but to meet a man of character and integrity who isn't afraid to see where the future might take us. I would like some really good feedback, not a lecture because I have my act together. I am in my 50's and very youthful in my outlook and actions (and appearance I am told) and feel that I am too young to be old and too old to be young! Does this mean my "dating life" is past the expiration date? I hope not! Thanks for your thoughts.
Like so many single people today, I sometimes get disappointed and discouraged about the dating/singles scene. It isn't that I HAVE to have a member of the opposite sex in my life, mind you, it would just be nice. Family and friends are wonderful and necessary, but it ISN'T the same in a lot of ways. With that being said, when were the rules changed? It seems that in our speed/electronic age of dating (i.e. dating sites, IM's,texting, emails, etc.) that the basics for a caring relationship seem to be missing. Whatever happened to meeting, getting to know each other and building from there if a connection/chemistry is felt? It seems things go so quickly and this makes it so much harder to get to know someone. Sometimes I feel that I am asking for the impossible, that no one wants "the real thing." I hope I am wrong. Are there any people who still feel that it takes time to know someone? Are there any men left who want the real thing and not just friends with benefits (I hate that term!)? I sometimes feel that while I was "out of the dating game" and involved with someone, the rules were changed and I never received a copy. Do things happen so quickly now because people have more access to singles (it's almost as if things don't work with this one, I can go back and meet someone else)? Is this really a good thing or a bad thing? I had always believed that building a good relationship was like building a fine relationship, you need to start with a firm foundation or things would crumble. Is this still the case anywhere? Like most, I stay very busy and am not looking to complete myself or fill up some empty time, but to meet a man of character and integrity who isn't afraid to see where the future might take us. I would like some really good feedback, not a lecture because I have my act together. I am in my 50's and very youthful in my outlook and actions (and appearance I am told) and feel that I am too young to be old and too old to be young! Does this mean my "dating life" is past the expiration date? I hope not! Thanks for your thoughts.
For me, I stick with my values and my moral beliefs. I have to look at me in the mirror. I sleep with me every night. If I alter my values then things don't feel right to me. Society might be passing me by, but I'm happy with me. That, to me, is important,first and foremost in my life.
Build solid values and morals, live them in your life - others of the same mind set will find their way to you.
Nat
For me, I stick with my values and my moral beliefs. I have to look at me in the mirror. I sleep with me every night. If I alter my values then things don't feel right to me. Society might be passing me by, but I'm happy with me. That, to me, is important,first and foremost in my life.
Build solid values and morals, live them in your life - others of the same mind set will find their way to you.
I believe the rules have never changed. We have. What is remarkable is the total lack of respect that is shown to our fellow daters i don't know if it is the sites , in fact iknow its not. people seem to be satisfied with the cheap thrill The real thrill is in the true feelings, never forget that ever. It is nice to see someone feels the same
I believe the rules have never changed. We have. What is remarkable is the total lack of respect that is shown to our fellow daters i don't know if it is the sites , in fact iknow its not. people seem to be satisfied with the cheap thrill The real thrill is in the true feelings, never forget that ever. It is nice to see someone feels the same
It took me a while to get used to internet dating, if I am used to it all? It certainly is different to anything I have ever experienced before.
For me it has been wonderful, for the reason it has given me choices. As a BBW this has not always been available to me. Not that I have ever been lacking male attention, but I've just a shortage to choose from.
I have talked to lots of men from here, lots have been wonderful, some have been not so nice as well. Though I have only really clicked with a few.
I now find that I can see much better what I need and what qualities are important to me, for me, this has been priceless.
I dont think its a case of if it doesn't work out there are more out there, its more like, do they meet the qualities of what I am after, and if not , we will be friends, or just move on.
I find that I have had the opportunity to get to know someone for who they are inside, their values and ideas before any possible sexual chemistry has come into play.
I dont know if the rules have changed, really not sure what the rules were in the first place, but do think this way gives you much more control over who you are going to spend your time with and much better chance of finding someone that is right for you.
It took me a while to get used to internet dating, if I am used to it all? It certainly is different to anything I have ever experienced before.
For me it has been wonderful, for the reason it has given me choices. As a BBW this has not always been available to me. Not that I have ever been lacking male attention, but I've just a shortage to choose from.
I have talked to lots of men from here, lots have been wonderful, some have been not so nice as well. Though I have only really clicked with a few.
I now find that I can see much better what I need and what qualities are important to me, for me, this has been priceless.
I dont think its a case of if it doesn't work out there are more out there, its more like, do they meet the qualities of what I am after, and if not , we will be friends, or just move on.
I find that I have had the opportunity to get to know someone for who they are inside, their values and ideas before any possible sexual chemistry has come into play.
I dont know if the rules have changed, really not sure what the rules were in the first place, but do think this way gives you much more control over who you are going to spend your time with and much better chance of finding someone that is right for you.
Has the rules been changed? Thats as good as any question as any asked here. The answer seems to be yes, for most people anyway. As for me, I like the old fashion way of doing things, but it does seem that both men and women are giving up on finding true love and have decided it's better to meet now and then for some "fun". Who knows, maybe they are the ones that are right, but I just can't see things from their point of view.
To Smiles-- If you think you were rambling on you haven't read some of the blogs that are on here. Welcome to the site ladies, hope to hear more from y'all.---Tom
Has the rules been changed? Thats as good as any question as any asked here. The answer seems to be yes, for most people anyway. As for me, I like the old fashion way of doing things, but it does seem that both men and women are giving up on finding true love and have decided it's better to meet now and then for some "fun". Who knows, maybe they are the ones that are right, but I just can't see things from their point of view.
To Smiles-- If you think you were rambling on you haven't read some of the blogs that are on here. Welcome to the site ladies, hope to hear more from y'all.---Tom
I feel that Society now (since the 1980's" has the attitude that they want INSTANT gratification.It is too much effort for them to slow down and take the time and effort to build a solid emotional relationship. Instead of building a solid relationship in trust and mutual compatibility and commitment,It has become based on the attitude of "Animal Lust at First Thrust" For a vast majority,I feel that is a attitude that pervades in to every fiber of their lives.
I feel that Society now (since the 1980's" has the attitude that they want INSTANT gratification.It is too much effort for them to slow down and take the time and effort to build a solid emotional relationship. Instead of building a solid relationship in trust and mutual compatibility and commitment,It has become based on the attitude of "Animal Lust at First Thrust" For a vast majority,I feel that is a attitude that pervades in to every fiber of their lives.
Hi,i haven't done this before.I only joined the site yesterday and reading thro' these messages is rather enlightening. People are asking questions that I want to ask. I dont believe age is anything to do with how you feel. Im 29 and like you ive found that men want easy relationships with no ties. Ive recently been friends with a guy who to start with, i was dating, not that we went on any dates. Then it was friends with a bit more than simple friendship. like that makes sense!!! And now its pleasure buddies meaning a kiss and cuddle when HE desides he's available.once a week at the moment.He's in for a shock! lol Are there any men in england that want a relationship that involves feelings, going out on dates and actually spending time together? And why are so many women content for no strings fun? sorry to ramble on.
Hi,i haven't done this before.I only joined the site yesterday and reading thro' these messages is rather enlightening. People are asking questions that I want to ask. I dont believe age is anything to do with how you feel. Im 29 and like you ive found that men want easy relationships with no ties. Ive recently been friends with a guy who to start with, i was dating, not that we went on any dates. Then it was friends with a bit more than simple friendship. like that makes sense!!! And now its pleasure buddies meaning a kiss and cuddle when HE desides he's available.once a week at the moment.He's in for a shock! lol Are there any men in england that want a relationship that involves feelings, going out on dates and actually spending time together? And why are so many women content for no strings fun? sorry to ramble on.
Today's world is so fast-moving, that any slow build-up is lost. However; the written word, even an e-mail will prompt more emotive sense than any sighting. I think, today, love is more about friendship than emotional turmoil. The rules of love have never changed, life just gets faster, while love is a lifetime of knowing.
I enjoyed reading your letter and thank you, for causing me to stop and think.
Today's world is so fast-moving, that any slow build-up is lost. However; the written word, even an e-mail will prompt more emotive sense than any sighting. I think, today, love is more about friendship than emotional turmoil. The rules of love have never changed, life just gets faster, while love is a lifetime of knowing.
I enjoyed reading your letter and thank you, for causing me to stop and think.
