I dont know how many times I have heard men say that they "dont like needy women".
Made me wonder what that means? How do you define the needy woman/man? Is it something they all do, or is it just that they crowd your space in some way?
Men and women like to feel needed, dont they? So why does this become a problem?
Quoting: Originally posted by JackJohn To some needy woman are lifeless and can not do anything for themselves.
To me a needy woman is someone that needs direction and is willing to take it - for me that is sexy.
Needing direction? do you mean how to get out of bed? How to balance a checkbook? How to shop for groceries? How to make love to her partner? How to find an address when driving?
Quoting: Originally posted by JackJohn To some needy woman are lifeless and can not do anything for themselves.
To me a needy woman is someone that needs direction and is willing to take it - for me that is sexy.
Needing direction? do you mean how to get out of bed? How to balance a checkbook? How to shop for groceries? How to make love to her partner? How to find an address when driving?
Depends on how QUICK they start acting/being 'needy', some are TOO soon....too many 'questions' too soon!
Can see how that could be, as long as you have spoken to them about it, to make sure that there have not been any misunderstanding.
I think that the potential for misunderstandings in Early relationships is huge, so easy for one person to take what another has said and put more/other meaning into it, more than was intended.
Depends on how QUICK they start acting/being 'needy', some are TOO soon....too many 'questions' too soon!
Can see how that could be, as long as you have spoken to them about it, to make sure that there have not been any misunderstanding.
I think that the potential for misunderstandings in Early relationships is huge, so easy for one person to take what another has said and put more/other meaning into it, more than was intended.
It's OK to be 'needy' when you're IN a relationship...but NOT until.
We all need our space/own time, but when the preassure is on to do this/say that...that's when it can be a pain !
Ok seriously now, lol
I see what you say here, but surely its all about effective communication?
Being upfront, talking clearly, not hinting or being silent, and telling the other person where you stand , what you expect and if they crossed your boundarie more...
Quoting: Originally posted by ariesram
It's OK to be 'needy' when you're IN a relationship...but NOT until.
We all need our space/own time, but when the preassure is on to do this/say that...that's when it can be a pain !
Ok seriously now, lol
I see what you say here, but surely its all about effective communication?
Being upfront, talking clearly, not hinting or being silent, and telling the other person where you stand , what you expect and if they crossed your boundaries?
We all have some sort of relationship with nearly everyone we interact with, whether that be a relationship of acquaintance, business, parent/child, friendship or lover/partner.
We all have different levels of needs and wants, for ourselves what we are willing to give/take and from what we like/expect from other people.
Can one person really get upset about the other being needy if they have not been clear about what is not acceptable to them? less...
It's OK to be 'needy' when you're IN a relationship...but NOT until.
We all need our space/own time, but when the preassure is on to do this/say that...that's when it can be a pain !
Well I would have thought YOU could be a pain at any time. :) LOL xx
Emotionally needy to me is needing someone who lives through their partner, their friends etc. They can't offer support because they can't handle their own emotional needs. I thing drama gets created because they need attention. Don't want the other to go out alone etc.
Quoting: Originally posted by one2one I think needy people, men or woman, give the impression they aren't able to take care of themselves. They may be very good at getting other people to do for them, have a definite aura of 'learned helple...
I have to agree here also, YES this is one definition that fits men and women.
Quoting: Originally posted by one2one I think needy people, men or woman, give the impression they aren't able to take care of themselves. They may be very good at getting other people to do for them, have a definite aura of 'learned helplessness', a life that continuously seems to need someone to come to their rescue or just have pretty big expectations of how much time and attention another person can devote completely to them.
That doesn't mean that we don't all do some of these things for each other in relationships because a good one includes time, attention, support and genuine desire to be a part of someone's life in many ways.
But it comes from both sides, when two people can give and receive, handle their own lives when needed, instead of one person leaving the other feeling continuously drained.
I have to agree here also, YES this is one definition that fits men and women.
OZ asked:I guess I would have thought the emotional needy person would be more like the one that wants you to make them happy all the time, entertain them, and maybe want you to tell them how great and wonderful they are?
Now I'm not sure if I'm right just trying to really define different ways that one can be needy.
What do you think?
*********
First, I agree there are many "needy" definitions, as many as there are people in my opinion. We all seem to have our own definitions more...
OZ asked:I guess I would have thought the emotional needy person would be more like the one that wants you to make them happy all the time, entertain them, and maybe want you to tell them how great and wonderful they are?
Now I'm not sure if I'm right just trying to really define different ways that one can be needy.
What do you think?
*********
First, I agree there are many "needy" definitions, as many as there are people in my opinion. We all seem to have our own definitions "needs" to that end.
I've never thought about the "needy" part that way until recently. I was dating a man that fits that description and it was exhausting for me. We are no long a we. I'm happier and I don't feel so drained.
His needs were of constant approval, over and over for one act of giving or a token of giving. He does need someone to make him happy. Sadly that does not work in my world.
I've learned that if you're not happy with you, then no one can give that to you. It's an illusion to think that anyone else can "make" you happy.
I believe that someone else can and will enhance your happiness and contentment with yourself. If you're not content with your life or yourself, then you need to look inside before looking outside. In my opinion anyway.
Quoting: Originally posted by aimeefla OZ wrote: What is being emotionally needy? How does a person act, what do they expect from their partner?
I would think that an emotionally needy women is one that depends on a man for everything. A...
Thanks Aimee, I'm not sure it really handled my question as yet. lol :)
I guess I would have thought the emotional needy person would be more like the one that wants you to make them happy all the time, entertain them, and maybe want you to tell more...
Quoting: Originally posted by aimeefla OZ wrote: What is being emotionally needy? How does a person act, what do they expect from their partner?
I would think that an emotionally needy women is one that depends on a man for everything. Asks him how much to spend at the market, what sort of food to buy. One who never looks at the bills. The sort of person, that sadly, if her spouse passes away before ehs, she's lost and has no clue how to handle the checkbook, the house, the bills, the repairs or even shop without someone assisting them. I've heard about this happening and I've seen it in some ways. This picture is not healthy at all. Any one that has to always ask their spouse if the moon will shine is not healthy.
Now if you need a hug, a kiss and someone to cuddle at night, healthy in my book.
If you need someone to surprise you with flowers when you least expect them, Yeah, healthy in my book.
Hope this helps.
Aimee
Thanks Aimee, I'm not sure it really handled my question as yet. lol :)
I guess I would have thought the emotional needy person would be more like the one that wants you to make them happy all the time, entertain them, and maybe want you to tell them how great and wonderful they are?
Now I'm not sure if I'm right just trying to really define different ways that one can be needy.
OZ wrote: What is being emotionally needy? How does a person act, what do they expect from their partner?
I would think that an emotionally needy women is one that depends on a man for everything. Asks him how much to spend at the market, what sort of food to buy. One who never looks at the bills. The sort of person, that sadly, if her spouse passes away before ehs, she's lost and has no clue how to handle the checkbook, the house, the bills, the repairs or even shop without someone assistin more...
OZ wrote: What is being emotionally needy? How does a person act, what do they expect from their partner?
I would think that an emotionally needy women is one that depends on a man for everything. Asks him how much to spend at the market, what sort of food to buy. One who never looks at the bills. The sort of person, that sadly, if her spouse passes away before ehs, she's lost and has no clue how to handle the checkbook, the house, the bills, the repairs or even shop without someone assisting them. I've heard about this happening and I've seen it in some ways. This picture is not healthy at all. Any one that has to always ask their spouse if the moon will shine is not healthy.
Now if you need a hug, a kiss and someone to cuddle at night, healthy in my book.
If you need someone to surprise you with flowers when you least expect them, Yeah, healthy in my book.
I have often asked about this myself. Many blogs asked the same thing.
It could be the same for men as for women. I've met some men that want to be take care of, fed, told what to do. They...
Thanks Aimee, I was thinking this topic may have been posted abut before, but I could not find it.
I can understand being needy financially and perhaps with things you need done and even the one that needs looking after, that is not so much my qu more...
Quoting: Originally posted by aimeefla HI Oz,
I have often asked about this myself. Many blogs asked the same thing.
It could be the same for men as for women. I've met some men that want to be take care of, fed, told what to do. They didn't last long with me, I'm not looking for a man that wants to be mothered.
I've heard from some men that women will do the same thing. They will allow the man to do for them. Why don't "they" get together? LOL LOL
I agree that we each should have our own interests outside the house. For me, I also would like a man that is comfortable with my independence as much as he is comfortable helping with the things I need help with. Putting up shutters, painting, cleaning the garage. Hauling stuff from here to there.
There is such a vast definition for "needy" and for "want".
I want to have a companion, a pal, a friend and confidant. It all sounds soo easy and simple. Why isn't it though.
We've all been down the road, sampled the variety and are now very careful before we get into any situations. It seems to be easier to be self sufficient and alone. I'm willing to get out there and work to find someone. I'm willing to get in the midst of it all to find that person that wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.
I'm both wanting and needing. Oz, I think the extremes are the issues for both want and need. That being said, I know we all have our boundaries for want and need and therein lies the issue we each have a different definition or point of view.
Good Topic !! Thanks
Aimee
Thanks Aimee, I was thinking this topic may have been posted abut before, but I could not find it.
I can understand being needy financially and perhaps with things you need done and even the one that needs looking after, that is not so much my question here.
What is being emotionally needy? How does a person act, what do they expect from their partner?
Is it a case that they want their partner to always tell them they love them, or praise them? LOL I am slow in understanding today. :)
I have certain emotional needs (and wants) from my partner, how do I know if this is normal and healthy or obsessive and potentially and issue?
I know that people will view this according to their own needs and boundaries, but am still not sure what the picture/actions of an emotionally needy person is/are? less...
I have often asked about this myself. Many blogs asked the same thing.
It could be the same for men as for women. I've met some men that want to be take care of, fed, told what to do. They didn't last long with me, I'm not looking for a man that wants to be mothered.
I've heard from some men that women will do the same thing. They will allow the man to do for them. Why don't "they" get together? LOL LOL
I agree that we each should have our own interests outside t more...
HI Oz,
I have often asked about this myself. Many blogs asked the same thing.
It could be the same for men as for women. I've met some men that want to be take care of, fed, told what to do. They didn't last long with me, I'm not looking for a man that wants to be mothered.
I've heard from some men that women will do the same thing. They will allow the man to do for them. Why don't "they" get together? LOL LOL
I agree that we each should have our own interests outside the house. For me, I also would like a man that is comfortable with my independence as much as he is comfortable helping with the things I need help with. Putting up shutters, painting, cleaning the garage. Hauling stuff from here to there.
There is such a vast definition for "needy" and for "want".
I want to have a companion, a pal, a friend and confidant. It all sounds soo easy and simple. Why isn't it though.
We've all been down the road, sampled the variety and are now very careful before we get into any situations. It seems to be easier to be self sufficient and alone. I'm willing to get out there and work to find someone. I'm willing to get in the midst of it all to find that person that wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.
I'm both wanting and needing. Oz, I think the extremes are the issues for both want and need. That being said, I know we all have our boundaries for want and need and therein lies the issue we each have a different definition or point of view.
I think its when someone is too clingy and needs to be with someone 24/7. Constantly phoning or sending txts. Not having interests outside the relationship.
