I need advice on how/when to introduce your kid(s) to the person you're dating. I don't want my son to meet every guy that I meet because nothing may come of that relationship...but he wants to meet the guy(s). He's very protective, he doesn't bother his father about who he's dating, but he tries to see who I leave the house with or who I talk to.
Thanks to everyone who responded back....basically you all feel the same way I do. I will continue to meet my date away from the house and not involve him in my dating relationships until something turns into a permanent relationship.
All very good comments here. I agree with nearly all fo them. I think it's wise to keep all introductions to a minimum until it's established there is a chance of permanency. In between then and now, dates should be referred to as "friends". Also, I REALLY like the idea of not meeting your dates at home. I know it's romantic to get picked up at home and for the man to put forth an effort, however, when kids are involved there needs to be a decorum that childless singles don't need more...
All very good comments here. I agree with nearly all fo them. I think it's wise to keep all introductions to a minimum until it's established there is a chance of permanency. In between then and now, dates should be referred to as "friends". Also, I REALLY like the idea of not meeting your dates at home. I know it's romantic to get picked up at home and for the man to put forth an effort, however, when kids are involved there needs to be a decorum that childless singles don't need to adhere to. It's the price we have to pay! (lol!) I have three boys, and I, too meet any prospective "dates" away from the home. I haven't dated much at all (ummmm... three or four to be exact, in almost 2 years...sad?! huh?). But, I plan to pick up the pace when I feel a bit more comfortable with the idea, and I do NOT plan on bringing dates home unless my kids are at their fathers' house. Good luck , girl! True less...
He is probaly trying to keep you getting hurt.then then there is the fear that the new man in mom's life will take away time with mom, plus the emotional fear of abandonment.Kids at that age Or older want to know what is happening. Let them know what is going on .But dont give them the life story. as for when the relation ship gets serious then give them the whole life story, hopefully by that time they will be at more of ease with the new person in mom;s life.
I have 3 boys and the 13 year old seems to be so very interested in my dating. He will ask me questions forever, and try to ask personal questions at that.
I tell my boys if I'm dating someone. I explain that we are getting to know each other better and if and when I feel its more serious, I will have them meet. During the time I am dating I will talk and mention the man, perhaps show pictures or even have them talk to him on the phone. I want them to feel comfortable in knowing this perso more...
I have 3 boys and the 13 year old seems to be so very interested in my dating. He will ask me questions forever, and try to ask personal questions at that.
I tell my boys if I'm dating someone. I explain that we are getting to know each other better and if and when I feel its more serious, I will have them meet. During the time I am dating I will talk and mention the man, perhaps show pictures or even have them talk to him on the phone. I want them to feel comfortable in knowing this person a bit as well.
I'm open about it, but keep it to their level of understanding. I think if I dont make it an issue about having someone I like in my life, then they dont either, especially if they feel somewhat involved with it too.
Now by dating I mean ongoing, not just going out on one date. If I am going on just a date, then I tell them I am going out with friends. less...
I concur with Ozred, without knowing the age of the child it makes it difficult on what direction to take. With that being said, a child needs to know their boundaries. They may have many questions, only give as much information as is needed. I do not think that a child needs to know every man you date. 21st century here, and women may have lovers, and sample along the way for many different reasons. Those reasons are your own girl, and a child does not need to know that. I am sure that you more...
I concur with Ozred, without knowing the age of the child it makes it difficult on what direction to take. With that being said, a child needs to know their boundaries. They may have many questions, only give as much information as is needed. I do not think that a child needs to know every man you date. 21st century here, and women may have lovers, and sample along the way for many different reasons. Those reasons are your own girl, and a child does not need to know that. I am sure that your ex does not face the same dilemma as you do. He is free to have privacy, a solo life. Trust your gut, your instincts. Hope all goes well for you.
Qadesh less...
I think that if your son KNOWS you are dating, then you should introduce them right away. Aries is right, he NEEDS to know this person who his mom is seeing.
My kids never met anyone I dated... but then again they never KNEW I was dating to begin with.
Quoting: Originally posted by quietnlonely I need advice on how/when to introduce your kid(s) to the person you're dating. I don't want my son to meet every guy that I meet because nothing may come of that relationship...but he wants to meet the guy(s). He's very protective, he doesn't bother his father about who he's dating, but he tries to see who I leave the house with or who I talk to.
You're his mom...the first women in his life he has/will ever love!
He's bound to want to kno more...
Quoting: Originally posted by quietnlonely I need advice on how/when to introduce your kid(s) to the person you're dating. I don't want my son to meet every guy that I meet because nothing may come of that relationship...but he wants to meet the guy(s). He's very protective, he doesn't bother his father about who he's dating, but he tries to see who I leave the house with or who I talk to.
You're his mom...the first women in his life he has/will ever love!
He's bound to want to know who you see,he NEEDS to know.
Knowing will put his mind as rest,he doesn't NEED to meet every man you date,but he needs to KNOW about every man you date! There's a lot of crazy men out there,and i think he's just looking out for his mom...tell him everything.Answer all the questions he asks,and he'll be happy.Perhaps he's worried, that one day,his mom might not come back from a date? Perhaps? less...
